


Escape Becomes The Habit

by Kahtya Sofia (KahtyaSofia)



Category: Hurt Locker (2008)
Genre: Anger, Character of Color, First Time, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-20
Updated: 2010-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-13 21:17:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/141816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KahtyaSofia/pseuds/Kahtya%20Sofia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the last days of Bravo's tour, things have fallen apart for Will. He does what he always does; he pokes the snake. This time, the snake is Sanborn, and he's not afraid to strike back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Escape Becomes The Habit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Venturous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Venturous/gifts).



> Thank you shoshannagold for the beta, last minute as it was.
> 
> Title is from the quote:
> 
>  _“You do anything long enough to escape the habit of living until the escape becomes the habit.” - David Ryan_

The prayers of a dying man, just before a bomb blew him up. Eldridge’s anger and contempt as he was strapped onto the stretcher in the chopper. _My femur is shattered in nine places. That’s what happens when you shoot somebody, Will. We didn’t have to go chasing your adrenaline high._

 All those desperate words mingled together in Will’s head until they played on a continuous loop as he crouched in the shower.

He watched the water swirl down the drain until it ran clear. Then he lathered up and rinsed again. No matter how often he showered, no matter how hot the water, he just couldn’t seem to wash away the feeling that his skin was stretched too taut over his muscles and bones.

He didn’t know why he was the way he was. JT didn’t know, either. All Will was sure of was that he _liked_ getting close to danger. He enjoyed death’s cold breath wafting over the back of his neck. If he went too long without being in the shit, he began to want to claw his way out of his own body.

Even now, barely more than an hour since he’d been knocked on his ass by a bomb blast, blood flowing freely from his nose, he was hoping they’d get a call. Eldridge was right; Will had been chasing a high. Still revved up from his futile search for Beckham’s killers, he’d used Owen and JT to feed his fix.

He’d deserved all of Eldridge’s vitriol, and then some.

Will put on just enough of his uniform to keep from getting hassled by the MPs and shuffled back to his billet. Calm settled over him. Soon, numbness would set in. He grabbed the bottle on the desk and took a long pull, trying to speed the process. The music, turned up to an ear-splitting level, might drown out the voices. If he was lucky.

There might have been a knock at the door. He took another swig from the bottle, relishing the burn, and leaned his head back against the wall. He wasn't receiving visitors right now. But the knock repeated.

“James. James, open up, man,” JT called through the door, managing to be heard over the deafening speed metal.

Will got unsteadily to his feet and crossed to open the door for Sanborn. He handed over the bottle, by way of greeting. JT turned the music down. Will suddenly felt an itch right between his shoulder blades.

“Just wanted to make sure you were okay,” Sanborn said, pacing the length of Will’s billet, bottle in hand.

“I’m fine. You doin’ any better?”

“Nah, don’t think I am.”

“Fight or fuck?” Will challenged.

“What?”

“What d’you feel like doin’? Fightin’ or fuckin’?” The need to suck JT into something, anything physical, was as strong as his need to avenge Beckham.

“I think I wanna punch somethin’.”

“Fine. Let’s do it, then.” Will launched himself off his bunk, not giving JT a chance to reconsider.

“Do what?” JT looked genuinely puzzled.

“Let’s fight. Come on. Let’s throw some punches. Beat each other bloody.” A fist in the face was almost as good as a pile of IED in the trunk of a car.

“We did that already, remember? It didn’t go so well.”

“That’s cause you didn’t really mean it. Remember when you had your knife to my throat? Made you feel alive, didn’t it?” It sure as fuck had made Will feel good at the time.

“You’re a crazy motherfucker. You get off on almost gettin’ dead.”

Will needed JT pissed off and wanting to lash out. “And you don’t get a major fuckin’ high when you’re gettin’ shot at?”

“No! Yeah. But it ain’t the same. I’m tryin’ to stay alive. I ain’t so sure you can say the same.”

“Don’t change the fact that you are so jacked up from almost dyin’ earlier today, you wanna punch someone.”  Will wanted JT to think that was all this was about. “You wanna put your fist through someone’s face. Just like me.”

Will stood with his arms akimbo, hoping it was enough to provoke. He’d start with a good brawl.

JT set down the bottle and squared up.

Will’s first punch connected solidly with JT’s jaw. It rocked him back only slightly. JT came in low and landed his fist in Will’s gut. It doubled Will over with a grunt. The pain was welcome relief to his shoulders, to the feeling that his skin was stretched too tight over them.

They were locked together, each searching for the leverage it will take to body slam the other. Will brought a knee up into JT’s body, hard, pleased by the loud swearing that resulted. JT tried to throw him again and they crashed into Will’s small desk, sliding it several feet along the wall. It wasn’t a life or death struggle but it still heated Will’s blood. That part of his brain that had numbed over in the last hour was waking up.

JT’s fist found Will’s jaw twice in rapid succession. The blows rocked him and he pulled back, seeing stars. That made him smile. He spun in JT’s arms, staying close and low. He jammed his elbow into JT’s diaphragm and was grimly satisfied that it stole JT’s breath. The rush was back, as was the buzzing in the back of his head. He still needed more.

Will’s own breath was stopped when JT slung an arm around his throat. He squeezed tight, further cutting off Will’s air, graying his vision around the edges. He clawed at JT’s arm and kicked backward, missing JT's knee. He stomped down hard but still managed to miss JT’s instep.

He didn’t want to get free. He didn’t even particularly want to be able to breathe. He just didn’t want JT to stop, or to let up. Blackness settled over Will and he knew it would bring peace.

Will let JT take some of his weight, as if his knees were giving out. JT took the bait and loosened his hold on Will’s neck. Air flowed into his lungs, pushing back the darkness and making Will instantly hard.

He shifted and tried to throw JT over his shoulder. JT tightened the arm around Will’s neck again and wrapped his legs around Will's waist when his feet left the ground. They crashed to the floor, hard and loud. The billet shuddered and furniture shifted. Adrenaline rocketed through Will’s system, bringing that sweet, sweet high.

He’d lost Eldridge’s respect, dragging his team into his chase for the high. If he kept this up, he was going to lose the last of JT’s respect, too. Will realized he might even lose his own life if he didn’t tap out, right fucking now.

It just felt too goddamn good.

“Give it up, James.” JT’s voice came, as if in a tunnel, from somewhere behind Will’s head. “I will choke you the fuck out if you don’t give it up.”

Will shifted, losing any advantage he might still have had. JT rode him face down into the floor. Their tee shirts must have ridden up during their scuffle. The heated skin of JT’s belly pressed into a bare patch of flesh on Will’s lower back. He arched into the heat, torn between that sensation and getting more friction on his hard cock.

JT used his hips to press Will’s lower body into the floor. He didn’t hesitate to use every advantage he had, even when his own erection pushed against Will’s ass.

“What the fuck?” JT panted, sitting up on Will’s hips and using both hands to keep his shoulders shoved into the floor.

Will sucked in a deep breath of air, suddenly light headed. “Fight or fuck,” he gasped.

“What?”

“Fight or fuck. You just won a fight. Don’t you wanna fuck someone to celebrate?”

Will certainly wanted to. His dick was painful where it rocked against the hard floor of the billet. This was gonna push JT too far. Just as sure as shooting Eldridge to save his life had crossed a line, provoking JT into a violent fuck did too.

“That’s what jackin’ off in the shower is for.” JT shifted his weight off of Will’s body.

“That’s a fuckin’ pussy answer,” Will spat, coming slowly to his hands and knees. “Why settle for your own goddamn hand when you can sink your dick into a hot body?”

“Jesus, James. Do you even know what you’re sayin’?”

Will let his head hang down between his shoulders. He could feel the adrenaline singing in his veins and his cock was about ready to punch through his trousers. He felt battered and bruised from the beating JT had given him. He really needed to fuck.

“Why send the ‘bot when you’ve got the suit?” Will’s question was rhetorical. “Why wear the suit when you’ve got two bare hands?”

JT was silent and Will couldn’t bring himself to turn and look. He waited, listening to the sound of his own harsh breath, echoed by JT’s.

“So … what? You wanna trade blowjobs?”

Will surged to his knees. “Fuck, Sanborn! We’re not girlfriends.” He tore his tee shirt over his head. He turned at the waist and reached behind him, grabbing JT’s crotch, hard.

“What the fuck?” JT hissed in pain.

“Do you wanna use this hard-on, or not?”

JT roughly shoved Will's shoulders. “Fuck you.”

“That’s the idea.” Will dropped back down to his hands and knees.

JT’s hands were brutal and hard on his hips. Will pushed back, grinding his ass against JT’s cock. JT thrust forward, nearly sending Will sprawling onto his face. It wasn’t enough, though, to keep his high from fading.

Provoking JT had worked pretty fucking well up till now. Will was going force this in the direction he needed it to go, even if JT didn’t want it. Same as he always did.

Will reached for the buckle of his belt.

“You’re fuckin’ serious,” JT muttered, rutting against Will’s ass.

Coming to his knees, Will tore open the fly of his trousers and shoved them over his hips and down his thighs. “Shut up and get your fuckin’ pants off,” he panted.

JT’s hands shook almost imperceptibly as he opened the fly of his own trousers. The dark, bulbous head of his cock rose up over the waist of his skivvies. Whatever conflicts were raging in JT’s head, his dick was making its own preferences known.

Will fumbled to open the drawer of his small bedside table. In his haste, he pulled too far and it crashed to the floor, spilling its contents. Several foil packets skittered through the room and a small bottle of lube rolled to a stop against his hand.

JT took the bottle and condom when Will handed them off.

“What the hell do I do with these?”

“Lube and a condom?” Will asked, incredulous. “You know what the condom’s for, I hope.”

“Yeah.” JT sounded angry.

“Lube up your cock. Use your fingers to lube me.”

“There ain’t a lot here,” JT protested.

“Doesn’t matter.”

Will hissed as a cold, lubed finger was shoved straight into his ass. He pressed his hips backward into the discomfort. The finger slid out, then shoved back in, once again chilled with lube. JT fucked him with that single finger.

It wasn’t enough. “More. Give me more,” Will demanded. He swore under his breath when JT took his finger out again.

He groaned at the stretch. Before he could even take a full breath, though, JT shoved two lubed fingers into his hole. Will groaned, because though it was good, it wasn't enough. Not enough burn. Definitely not enough pressure and friction.

“Come one, Sanborn. Gimme more.”

Three fingers made Will hiss, his eyes water. JT’s fingers were almost dry.

“There ain’t no more lube,” JT said in frustration.

“Use whatever else you got.”

“What do I got instead?”

“I don’t fuckin’ know. Spit? Come? Use what you got!”

JT's pause seemed interminable, then finally Will felt warm spit land in the crack of his ass and slide down toward his balls. JT used this thumbs to smear it around and into Will’s hole.

“It ain’t enough,” JT murmured.

Will heard JT spit just before the warm spittle landed on his ass. He pushed back when JT used his thumbs to push the fluid into him.

Again, JT drew breath and launched a glob into Will’s ass crack. He smeared it with his fingers, then spit again.

“Stop playin’ around, Sanborn,” Will demanded, impatience surging through him.

“There’s hardly any lube. Girls hurt when they ain’t wet enough.”

“I’m not a fuckin’ girl.  It won’t. Just fuckin’ get on with it.”

He rocked impatiently on his hands and knees as he heard JT tear open the condom and the slick sucking sound of lubed latex being rolled onto a hard cock. The head of JT’s dick suddenly pressed hard against his clenched opening. Will bore down and shoved himself backward.

“Oh, fuck,” JT growled, his hands gripping Will’s hips hard enough to bruise.

His eyes watered again and his breath caught in his chest as JT’s cock shoved past the ring of muscle. The pain burned in his ass and sent bolts of sensation rocketing up his spine. Will pushed violently against JT, working to get his cock deeper inside of himself. The room was quiet, save for the sound of their harsh breathing.

They found a rhythm, violent and punishing, punctuated by harsh grunts and loud slaps of skin meeting skin. Will felt ripped open. JT’s cock inside of him was thick. The dry drag from so little lube felt like fire. He shoved himself back harder onto JT’s cock. It sent a shockwave of burning, tearing sensations through his entire pelvis.

“You like things to hurt, don’t you, James?” JT breathed from behind him.

Will’s only answer was a grunt and hard thrust that forced JT’s cock deeper. But he did. It was like he needed the pain to complete a circuit in his brain.

Their bodies slid against one another, slick from their mingled sweat. JT shoved at Will’s shoulders, forcing him face down on the floor. He didn’t want to go. He needed to keep the leverage so he could fuck himself hard on JT’s dick. Still, JT was relentless.

“You want it to hurt, don’t you?” JT demanded, his hands gripping Will’s ass cheeks painfully and spreading them wider.

Will didn’t have the words to answer as JT sank down into him, clear to the root. His hands scrabbled against the floor, seeking purchase and finding none as JT fucked down into his ass with force. Will tried to push upward, to get more, to take more, but JT had him pinned. He lay there, breathing harshly, tasting sweat and sex as it hung in the air around them.

Above him, JT shifted. Suddenly, Will’s gland was hammered hard by the head of JT’s cock. Fireworks burst behind his eyelids, heat and current coursed through his entire system. The dry drag was excruciating.

Finally, he felt it.

Will was just where he needed to be. Fighting and fucking had at last struck a balance and the adrenaline worked its magic. It was suddenly quiet inside Will’s head. For a few, fleeting moments, he was comfortable in his own skin.

He lay down and let JT fuck him.

“This how you want it, James?” JT growled. “Can’t have the danger, you want the pain?”

Will was glad JT couldn’t see his face.

“Fight or fuck, huh? Can’t decide if you want your ass kicked or fucked?”

Will dug his knees into the floor and fought JT’s weight for enough leverage to lift his hips. He got just enough space between his own cock and the hard floor to slide his hand down. The touch of his own calloused fingers on his sensitized dick just added another layer of sensation. It threatened to overwhelm him.

He despaired that he just couldn’t be overwhelmed anymore.

JT’s motions stilled and his breath caught. “Fuck,” he whispered, just before his body began to shiver.

Will could feel JT’s cock twitch and pulse as he came, still buried deep in Will’s ass. It was good. It was so good. JT was pressed up against the right spot. It was hard for Will to move, but he got some rough friction going with his own hand. It almost hurt. He would probably have a sore dick for a couple of days. But it was what he needed.

He came into his own hand, unable to stop his body from clenching and quaking, but still managing to bite back any sounds.

He tasted blood.

When the last shot of jizz coated his fist, Will relaxed down into the floor. It was growing more uncomfortable by the second. JT was getting fucking heavy.

“Get off me, Sanborn,” he growled, shifting and trying to get to his hands and knees again.

JT pulled himself out of Will’s ass. The burn and the sudden emptiness made him swear.

Will tugged his trousers back up and into place. His hands shook. He laughed to himself. His hands were shaking now, like they never shook when he was working on a live bomb.

“What do I do with this?” JT asked.

Will turned to see him holding the tied off rubber.

“Throw it the fuck away, Sanborn. You wanna keep it for a souvenir?”

“ _Where_ do I throw it away, you asshole?”

“I don’t fuckin’ care. Take it with you, goddamit.”

Will stood on shaky legs and reached for the bottle JT had abandoned. Their tour was done. There would be no more missions. He and Sanborn didn’t need another fucking thing from each other.

“You are one crazy, sad and lonely motherfucker,” Sanborn said quietly as he paused on his way out the door. “I won’t waste my breath saying ‘stay safe’. I’ll just tell you to make sure you don’t take anyone else with you when you finally push it too far.”

Will stood alone after the door slammed shut behind JT.


End file.
